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Tony's HouseI'm not tall... you're just short! Hello there people! Yep this is Tsoukinator's Official Blog Site, which has recently come back into a revival despite the introduction of Myspace Blogs. Really, its my little time capsule of love you could say I won't be posting as much as I would like (due to school commitments) but feel free to comment on my blogs or stories whenever you like. But please, if you read any of my stories/blogs, make sure to tell me that you read it and I'll really appreciate you for it Thanks for reading guys
May 07 EXTREME Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday!Ever wondered, how a day would be with everything "eXtreme" in it?
Well, luckily enough for you, Joss and Andrew helped me answer that on Monday, and for many days afterwards.
Wednesday may have been kinda a tad extreme, and even though we had Extreme IBIS x 3 today... not even our ibis class could outdo the ...
EXTREMENESS!!!
 Of EXTREME Monday!
We realised how EXTREME english chaps turning 85 were!
How "EXTREME" luther could be with Aviators and an "extreme" accent!
How "EXTREME" Andrew would be as a voice-over boxer
How "EXTREME" Joss would be as an english correspondent in london!
in fact, how extreme anything is when you say it in an "EXTREME" voice
 Even Irene Moser was suprised to learn how "EXTRME" ICT had now become on her Monday 2:30 lecture.
However, perhaps the most impressive addition to the "Extreme Team" was that on tuesday, in our 10:30 DaD tutes with the Ferres-Dogg.
On EXTREME Tuesday!
Where suddenly schema battles were taken to the next level....
EXTREME SCHEMA BATTLES!!!
The battle between Branavan and Sonya was heating up with both sides attempting to make some shortcuts, but in the end, as a class we all decided that "cupcake" (Branavan's) relational schema was corrupt as we could not read his writing, and was taken out of the competition to give sonya the win.
This all happening while Olivia was still calming down from being told earlier that "her resturant was on fire" by Joss and Jake.
However Olivia is also rather EXTREME this week, for offering her "services" out...  As in camera services!
Oh....
That doesn't fix anything...
...
 Cupcake also decided to get a little sneaky, and off a special report from program that ferres-dogg was making, he found his mobile number and took it down, which we all thought was a great joke... until we were told that its not his fault if we get calls at 2am in the morning.
Suprisingly, this number actually became useful for me the next day, when I was trying to track down Tim in his office - where I got a text from him saying "Try the En Building" while I was hopelessly strolling around Level 5 of the BA building, wondering if any offices at all existed on this floor
Despite Andrew's assistance, it apparently wasn't extreme enough to save me the long walk of shame to EN510 to give Tim Ferres "the eye" after entering his office for some Database help
Afterwards, we learned about Peter Sala actualling logging into his facebook, and how there were two posts in his facebook fan club... both by me.
I didn't think this was that funny... apparentely the rest of the class did, including Tim Ferres.
Daniel and his friend later also called me over to where they were sitting, and egged me on to sing "the fray" in class
I did not back down.
However when prompted to sing to Ferres-Dogg, I just replied "Thats the 8:30 class".
So guys, be sure to wake up early for the 8:30 dad tute next week!!! April 26 My dick scored today =PEver thought you'd see the day?
Well here it is
 About 2:30 today as well.
but out of nowhere
ball drops into "the box"
and with one final desperate lunge
like a bicycle kick
in mid air
I thrust my pelvis
at the ball
to deflect it into the BACK OF THE NET!!!
Was a great time to score as well
put us 3-2 in the lead for the match
Sheer sublime skill
and for those who still haven't gotten it.... i scored a goal today from a corner cross, with yes, the very knackers us men swear to protect through the course of our lives
but don't worry ladies... the family jewels are still intact
 Oh fun fun fun
 Must've been those new short-shorts I was wearing today, aye?
You had to be there, the whole team swamping me congratulating and laughing their asses off at me simultaeously
Then running back to my posistion, one hand up for a high 5, the other cradling the poor ones underneath.
The team named it as "Tony's famous dick goal"
 I even had one person (Yang, A.ka. "Kane") do a re-enactment of the event, hahahaha
Sheer brilliance, bahahaha April 14 Crafty Craftsman has found his Craft ;-)Ok, for those of you who didn't really have an idea what my last blog was about.... and why the title didn't match up and whathaveyou.
But now... I do
I suppose it reminds me of that time a girl i know wrote a blog about her "lesbian adventure" just to see if more people read it.
This escapade, was indeed a great success.
(I also read that blog
).So well, back to a style of blog i'd more like to give you.
Where this time, the title, explains, at least "a bit" more
I
Have become
The MATCHMAKER!
In effect, I always was "the matchmaker"... oh well, no, not really.
You get the wrong impression when I say "the matchmaker".
No, I'm not just some guy who sits behind a crafty wooden desk, smoking a pipe laying back in his expensive chair, feeling as he is "on top of the world, if i dare say, old chap".
- I seem to have become, "the essential" go-to man, for any, even slightly related romantic escapade you could think of
And to make that even better...
I have a 100% success rate
So just picture this... its you and well... not paris hilton
not Nikki Webster
OH AND NOT whatshername new model who is scrawny as but for some reason people like her, and i can't even remember her name
(Miranda Kerr... after 10 or so minutes)
Ah yes I have it....
JENNIFER HAWKINS!
Mischa Barton
or Kevin Rudd
ok, either one of those spanking hot pieces of meat will do
Boy or girl regardless, picture you, going on a date with either one of these..... the sheer idea has probably already got you smiling to yourself
But wait, just a date?
Oh!
I can make it so much better. I can make your dreams a reality...
with the new "Tsoukinator Mach 3 SetUp and Score" Machine!!!
also referred to as the "love machine"
or just Tsoukinator himself!
Hi, i'm Anthony, and "I can make your dreams a reality!"
Oh yes thats right, with the new Tsoukinator Love machine, you can get anything you could ever wish for!
and no, this is not a trick!
thats right, NOT A TRICK!
Just picture youself now, on your date with with Jen, Mischa or for some of you out there, the stud Kevin Rudd on that spectacular evening of yours out.
And all of a sudden... you run out of things to talk about.
Oh well never fear! TSOUKAS IS HERE!
I'll turn your misfortune, into a WHEEL OF FORTUNE!
And soon, I will be bragging about:
how you risked your life to save that helpless child from the big evil cat from next door
or, how you get chosen for the state championships after playing only your first game ever of BAMBOOZLE!
or, I might even brag to them about how you were "ever so popular" at this one time.... at band camp
whatever your great story of fame may be, even the simpliest of stories, can be turned into an
EPIC BATTLE OF GOOD VERSUS EVIL!!!
- where you always end up on the good side (and win) EVERY SINGLE TIME!
 Whats that?
You said you play warcraft?
NO YOU DIDN'T!!
YOU SAID YOU'RE THE DAMN KING OF THE WORLD DUDE
AND YOU KNOW IT!
YEEHAWW!!
And this is a World, you're the King of, is one where even the smallest remark of stating which station you "get off at" can turn into the
BEST PICK UP LINE
IN THE WORLD!
NO MORE CHASING PORSCHES WITH BICYCLES!
YOU'RE CHASING PORCHES WITH
ROCKET POWERED-ROLLER BLADES!
So if I like Computers
Do you like Computers?
HELL YES IS THE ANSWER!
With the new invention of the Tsoukinator "Love Machine"
EVERYONE LIKES COMPUTERS!
and they don't just like them, they...
LOVE THEM!
Very soon, you will find your object of affection, throwing themselves into your arms as you were made of chocolate
HOT CHOCOLATE!
It would be even more exciting than....
EXTREME ACCOUNTING!
THE VIDEO GAME!
and
ICT CLASS
With Irene Moser
It's the type of stuff that gets you walking into Subway and immediately offered a footlong
only for the check out chick to come to the realisastion that "from the looks of you...
YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE!"
AND THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!
It's caus you're all "Tsouked" Up
Pretty soon, the argument won't be over "looks" and "personality
It'll merely be...
IF TSOUKAS IS ON YOUR SIDE....
WHO CAN BE AGAINST YOU!
Its the type of offer that brings you all kinds off...
COOL STUFF!
Like
Gnomes
Chocolate
Paintballing
GNOME PAINTBALLING
More Chocolate!
Free Entry to the Hawthorn Swimming Pool
ANONYMOUS QUARK-ING!
Various pieces of Computer Hardware
EXTREME COMPUTING!
Multicoloured Jeans Buttons!
Which make people uncontrollably look at your crotch
ALL THE TIME!
and Borat's PU55Y MAGNET ... which he never bought!
Having cool free stuff like that also brings you
Cheap food from Sara's
FREE FOOD from Sara's
Free Games at IBISQ Clicky pens, which REMOVE CLOTHES
and...
LATE AFTERNOON DATES AT MSY!!!!
No minimum to buy
Cancel anytime!
(but you'd be a total idiot to pass this "ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY UP!"
Because! For the first one caller(s) you get this service ABSOLUTELY FREE!
You hear me?
ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Ring "The Matchmaker" up sometime, and I'll be sure to "get you with" any one you could possibly want
Thats right
ANYONE YOU POSSIBLY WANT!
(however I do specialise in University Lecturers
)And if you were unfortunate enough to not be one of the first one caller(s) ...
You can pay by cash, credit card, or
ANY "BEHIND THE COUNTER SERVICES" you WISH!
Of course I don't "Condone this activity"
 But I understand with the economy in recession, some of us don't really have the money to pay up front, let alone at all.
This has been another, Danoz Direct announcement brought to by no other than
The Matchmaker and Love Machine (TM)
Supported by the fine fine support and "proceeds" (which I'm getting sometime pretty soon ) of you all April 06 What not to do at a party full of underage girls.And if the title wasn't saucy enough to catch your attention...
Well, i'll just keep this blog quick and simple (mainly so I can also get to my "D.a.D" studying).
My sis, had her 15th birthday party last week, so she had various 15/16 year old year 10 girls running around the place, being crazy, dressing up in my clothes, flushing chocolote down toilets, you know.... the usual
And then for some reason, someone suggested something about "condoms".
It then all hit them that they start randomly yelling and shouting about them. "Condoms?" "Who has condoms?" "Have you got a condom?" "Whats a condom?".
And out of the whole random array of "condom-like" questions, I suddenly spring to life and go OMG! "I have condoms!!!"
- I then realised quickly after saying this, that it probably wasn't the best idea to tell the girls that out loud, lol
It basically was like a blonde moment, i was partially in dreamland, knowing but not knowing what was going on at the same time... until I just heard something that applied to me in someway, that just trigged something in my head to say "omg me too" and then proclaim to the world that I had condoms, and they did not, haha
Like, its not like it didn't go down well, I quickly retreated back into where i was sitting, hand over mouth embarassed, and they just laughed along, mostly realising that I didn't really mean what I said in the way "it sounded" after I did.
Funny thing was, I said this in front of the entire cohort of girls invited to my sis's party, including my friends sonya and luther, as well as my sister herself.... so you could've understand how embarassing it was to yell out something like that in front of about 15 or so underaged girls, lol
However, in the end strangley enough, some girls were keen on the fact I had them... and did kinda pester me about them, along with pleas for several cruisers for about 2 hours. Of course not mentioning any names such as "brit" and "fab", might be better if I didn't just mention them and put them in bold or something.
Something even more shocking, however probably not suprising though, is that, well after this night, my condoms.... actually went missing.
I'm pretty sure I know where they are though... although I did tell them that unless they planned on using them tonight, to not go anywhere near them as a deterrent, that didn't seem to stop them.
Geez, 16 year old girls these days, lol
Oh well an interesting day. The following, I spent playing soccer at swinburne in this round robin tournament, where I played in a 5 a side team, full of students from different countries around the world. 2 guys from Boston, Us a girl from Toronto, Canada and a guy from Czech Slovakia who previously went to a school in Germany - Quite an interesting day it was.
Also talked to this guy ramsay, who I previously thought was named murray. And thats it really, hope you enjoyed reading this brief blog entry.
Ciao March 27 Gnome uprisings and paintball on the horizonYet another exciting week comes to an end, this time with an introduction of the "Gnome" factor to our classes.
We found them for 1 dollar each at some store on glenferrie road, so yeah why not buy some.
But perhaps it was the mention of the gnomes by Adi live on lectopia that was totally worth the money spent buying the gnome.
Pictures and that will be up soon, as well as the lectopia recording of Adi talking about gnomes.
Despite that, another great week of Uni I should say, soccer and all that was fun as well (although Sonya did miss half of it, and I thought that I should've waited for her too, lol)
oh and yeah, I also saw a guy dressed up as luigi, and tried taking a picture of him, but got video instead.
In the coming weeks, we also hope to organise a paintball outing with all the uni friends.
Prices I think are like $56 per person, so yeah, see me guys if you want in.
Generally its an "inside of uni" outing, but I suppose if we can't get enough I'll be the first to invite others from school |
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